Watching the seminar footage, I couldn’t help but muse, “You just don’t see that every day….” It was just so… different. Contrast this with a scenario that played out a few years back on my team. I had received some feedback on a project that I didn’t agree with and had defended myself a little too aggressively. The next day, I decided I owed my team an apology. Even so, I remember pacing in my cubical for several minutes before I could muster up the will to admit I’d been wrong.

What is it about apologizing that is so difficult? And what makes it so important – in terms of cultural capital, influence and effectiveness?

Here are my observations.

Leaders Set the Standard

Gruenert & Whitaker wrote, “The culture of any organization is shaped by the worst behavior the leader is willing to tolerate.” Sometimes the leader is the one with the bad behavior. Apologies acknowledge the standard for good behavior.

We All Have Room to Grow

Dale Carnegie said, “If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.” The bottom line is we all have room to grow, which means we’ll all make mistakes from time to time. It’s often not the mistakes themselves (both unintentional and poor behavior) but how we respond that provide the largest opportunity for growth.

Authenticity Matters

It’s been said that oftentimes our followers are more impressed with our weaknesses and failures than they are with our successes. For one thing, our struggles can seem more relate-able. When we apologize, we relate on a very human level. In doing so, we invite the people around us to view us not as their leaders but as their equals.

Lead By Example

When I was growing up, my parents would occasionally apologize to us kids. I can’t remember any specific occasions, but as I’ve gotten older, I wonder that it must’ve taken some serious willpower. I think they decided it was important to set the example that when we’re wrong, it’s our responsibility (even theirs) to make it right.

Improve Behavior, Improve Performance

In their book Thanks for the Feedback, Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen point out that when you are the problem in a given situation, you actually have the most control over improving the situation. When you change, the situation changes. When we recognize that we’ve been the problem – and apologize for it – not only does the situation improve but those who oppose us now have a reason to support us in following through.

Unhindered Teams Win

In his book Leading with the Heart, basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski talks about the effectiveness of teams built on trust and a radical commitment to the collective whole. In the sport of basketball, time is precious. The longer any one team member is wrong, the longer the whole team suffers. In most organizations, time can easily get away from us. The quicker we can make things right with our teammates, the quicker we can restore trust, cohesion and effectiveness. I truly believe that teamwork is the next great competitive advantage.

Admitting our faults is tough – there’s no way around it. But there’s usually no sense in hiding what others are probably already well aware of. Let’s push ourselves to continue to acknowledge where we’ve been the problem and ask for forgiveness. The entire organization stands to benefit.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader. Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or   follow him on Twitter.

Here’s the thing: if you wait until you receive a leadership role to get a leadership education, you may be waiting for a long time and you may not last long once you get there. We all need a leadership development plan that includes work experiences, formal training, networking and self-study. But don’t overlook the easiest, cheapest and most accessible one of all: observation.

Here are eight observations to make of the leaders around you.

How They Make Decisions

You can tell a lot about the leaders around you by the decisions they make – or don’t make. makes. One of the biggest frustrations to senior management is middle management who won’t make the tough decisions at their level. As an observer, you obviously won’t have access to all the same information, but you can still learn a lot.

How They Communicate with Their Teams

Engagement studies reveal that the majority of organizations have a “communication problem” – especially in the consistency and cascading of high-priority messages. Good leaders over-communicate what is truly important. Take special note of what the leaders around you decline to communicate publicly.

How They Organize Their Time & Priorities

A leader’s time is of great value. It’s a finite resource that must accommodate a growing number of responsibilities. Observe the systems they use to stay on top of schedule. Pay special attention to what they say “no” to.

How They Respond to Crises and Criticism

When Robert Mueller was confirmed as Director of the FBI, it wasn’t because of his special ability to respond to crises. He specialized in white collar crime. But one week later the World Trade Center was hit and Mueller became a full-time crisis manager. The leaders around you may not have to manage a catastrophe, but pay attention to the way they handle disruptions to their plans – and the public response they receive.

How Engaged Their People Are

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that employees prefer to work for strong leaders. It’s not because it’s easier – many times it’s not. Followers will usually work harder and stay later for a leader they respect. “A” leaders attract “A” followers who are engaged in the work, with the organization and with each other.

How Many Leaders They Produce

Did you know that leaders actually grow on trees? The best leaders develop and produce more leaders who in turn produce more. This may be most clearly seen in professional football “coaching trees,” where nearly every successful coach cut his teeth under a previous successful coach. Figure out which leaders in your leadership community have the best reputation for developing talent – and take note of their approach.

What Results They Get

Execution is the bottom line of leadership effectiveness. Without it, leaders lose their opportunity, regardless of the circumstances. Leadership is a tough business. Always take note of the results the leaders around you achieve – especially if there are significant challenges. It’s easy to win when all the momentum is on your side. It’s hard when the odds are against you.

The Mistakes They Make

This one is perhaps the most obvious and insightful. Every mistake of someone else’s you learn from, you potentially avoid making yourself.

You’ve probably realized by now that not all the examples around you are good ones. A failure by one leader could mean you receive a new assignment before you’re ready for it. Regardless, you’ll be able to share your informed observations with others. Don’t wait until later to build your leadership competency. Start taking notes today.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

If someone on your team has fouled things up, why don’t you try some of these responses?

Begin with Praise

Sometimes when a mistake has been made, the offending person is more than aware and dreading the upcoming interaction. Other times, they are oblivious. In either case, the way you begin the conversation will more than likely set the tone for future performance. No matter how badly someone botches things up, there is usually a silver lining somewhere. Begin by catching the person doing something right. This demonstrates that you noticed and that you care. It also sets a positive tone for the rest of the conversation (and future ones).

Ask for the Other Person’s Assessment

One of the most practical ways to address a performance snafu is to ask for the other other person’s feedback before you give your own. There are a couple reasons. First, if you open by sharing your concerns, it puts the other person on the defensive right off the bat. Second, people are always much more likely to follow through on their own ideas than the ideas of others. Just be careful that you don’t ask for the other person’s feedback only when there are evident mistakes – it won’t take long to pick up on that pattern.

Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

This is Dale Carnegie‘s 8th principle for being a leader. Most mistakes don’t error in their entirety but in just a small piece. I recently worked with a golf coach who had me adjust my swing. When I hit a nasty slice, I expected him to confirm how ugly it looked. But instead, he’d tell me it was “almost perfect” and I just needed to make a little adjustment and try again. Making the fault seem easy to correct helps distinguish between a fatal and a fixable error.

Redirect the Energy

The attention of an error usually tends to be the negative outcome – and along with it negative energy. Unless you redirect the energy to something positive, the focus stays in the wrong place. Bring the focus back to the positive desired outcomes and tie it back to what is “in it” for the individual and for other stakeholders if the outcome is performed correctly.

Provide Constructive Feedback

Feedback that is un-constructive may be true, correct, factual, objective and warranted. Feedback that is constructive is useful for positive change. Help the person you are working with understand what they can do differently in the future (including the critical thinking components) to get the results you both want.

Give Second Chances

One of the best examples of a second chance was Thomas Edison’s invention of the light bulb. After laboring for 24 hours, his team finally created what they hoped to be the first functioning bulb. Edison handed it to a young boy to take it up the stairs of their building to test it. Unfortunately the boy dropped the bulb and it was ruined. Shrugging off the frustration, Edison’s team worked for another 24 hours and Edison entrusted the same boy with the same task. The rest is history.

When people make a mistake, there is a sense in which they are in our debt. A second chance may not erase the debt but it demonstrates trust and builds enormous amounts of loyalty. And motivation doesn’t get much higher than trying to prove that trust is well-placed.

Have you ever had a boss who responded like a leader when you made a mistake?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

So what happens when adversity strikes? How can we climb our way our of it? This isn’t an exhaustive list, but here are some thinking patterns that have helped me maintain a sense of sanity and clarity over the years.

No Second Guessing

Many times adverse situations are the result of our own making. We create our own chaos. That’s why it’s takes so much courage to make tough decisions when the outcomes aren’t clear.

Whether your adversity is self-inflicted or not, don’t second-guess. It’s a waste of time and energy. The past is gone. In economic terms, it’s “sunk cost.” Instead, re-assess based on where you are now. What went wrong? What could you do differently next time? What makes the most sense based on where we are today, not where we were in the past? Use the past as a teacher and then move on.

Profit From Your Losses

When I learned that Dale Carnegie had written a bestselling book called How to Quit Worrying and Start Living, I was a bit incredulous. Do people really worry that much, I thought. When I began reading, I realized I was one of the target audience. Carnegie shared that anyone can profit from their gains. It takes intelligence, creativity and a winning spirit to profit from your losses.

There are countless personal and business stories where the mistake led to the breakthrough. Your adversity may not be Hollywood material in the making, but most reversals rarely are. Start where you are. Find a way to turn your minuses into pluses, your lemons into lemonade.

Live to Play Another Down

That’s a sports reference. If you want a first class lesson in dealing with adversity, just take your queue from the world of athletics. I could never be a sports coach. If there is anyone who isn’t allowed to say “well guys, looks like this one is over,” it’s them! Sometimes it “works” and the team comes from behind to win. Other times even the most devastating losses provide an opportunity to grow into a stronger team. No single play or game or season gets the last word. The present is only temporary. It’s all about where you go from there.

When I was a college student, my classmates and I would occasionally receive a bad test on an exam followed by an overwhelming, end of the world feeling that our lives and careers were now in total jeopardy. It took some perspective to admit that job recruiters weren’t likely to inquire about each individual test score for all our classes.

Put your adversity in perspective. A speed bump is just that: a bump. Not a mountain.

Plan for Next Time

The worst part of adversity is getting fooled twice. Don’t let this happen to you! Don’t second-guess, but re-assess. Remember?

A construction company I work with nearly went under during the housing collapse in the United States a few years ago. They made it, but just barely. Now the market is coming back and it would be easy just to get back to business. But nobody wants to go through all that misery again. So the leaders made a plan to diversify the main product line. It takes extra work now, but if the market collapses again, the company will stand strong.

How do you handle adversity? What’s your plan?

If your adversity involves a traumatic experience, visit this article entitled: Resilience and the Pan Am Flight 73 Hijacking.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

Following are six specific ways many organizations have traditionally thought about training – with a culture “shift” for each one.

Learning takes place during training events.

Shift: Learning takes place before, during and after training events – as well as on the job and after hours.

Gone are the days when training is simply viewed as a “vacation” from actual work. With attitudes like this, it’s no wonder management got so eager to cut training budgets. Make sure employees understand that they must complete pre-work assignments before arriving at the learning event so they are prepared to engage with the content as soon as the events begins. Have a follow-up plan. Even more importantly, help them understand the importance of learning through experiences on the job – as well as from external sources.

The instructor is the expert.

Shift: Everyone is an expert: facilitators, self and peers.

If the instructor is the only expert, the purpose of a learning event will be to simply download the information from the instructor to the participants. If everyone is an expert, the facilitator operates as more of a guide and participants learn from assessing their own experiences and from collaborating with the content and with others – both inside and outside of the event.

The organization is responsible for each person’s development.

Shift: Everyone is responsible for own their development and for sharing what they know with others. The organization is responsible for supporting development via the learning infrastructure.

If only the organization is ultimately responsible for the development of each employee, then employees will understandably take a passive role in the development process. On the other hand, if the organization plays a support role, each person must be a proactive participant in the process. The organization builds the system and the participants engage with the content, resources, and most importantly: each other (are you catching a trend for collaboration?).

Mistakes are unacceptable, so hide them.

Shift: Mistakes are unavoidable – so share and learn from both successes and failures. Encourage creative experimentation.

Some mistakes are truly unforgivable, especially if they involve safety, privacy, sensitive information or ethics. And yet they still occur. The worst response is to sweep them beneath the rug and pretend they never happened. This only ensures that the same mistakes will take place again in the future. Not only that, it damages an organization’s credibility with employees (and outside stakeholders) who know the mistakes happened. Many mistakes are not fatal. It takes guts to admit when we’re wrong, but it’s one of the most development-rich opportunities out there. Mistakes become examples of what not to do (again). Moreover, when there is freedom to fail, there is extra incentive to succeed. Truett Cathy once said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing wrong… until we can learn to do it right.” When it comes to admitting mistakes, leaders ought to lead the way and go first. And if you are going to fail, take risks and fail in a training environment first.

Grades come from learning assessments.

Shift: “Grades” come from feedback of self, peer, trainers, supervisor and business results.

The ultimate grades of any learning event come in the form of business results. It’s not enough to give a right answer – you have to perform the correct action on the job. But the real catch is that often there is no “right” answer. Many decisions are situation-specific and don’t net a result until further down the road. And let’s not discount the value of feedback. Oftentimes we have a decent assessment of our own level of understanding. “I’ve got this,” or “I definitely don’t get this!” Peers, training staff and supervisors help provide additional insight that we can take or leave. Take them.

A passing grade completes training (emphasis on passing).

Shift: Development is never “complete” (emphasis on continual growth, mastery and collaboration).

Learning is only “pass/fail” in the classroom but never in real life. For some technical training events, a certain level of quantitative proficiency must be attained. I don’t want someone operating on my who hasn’t passed extensive competency assessments! But the learning is never over. A training event is simply a stepping stone on the path to mastery. Also, the most complete learner is not the one who knows the most, but the one who shares the most with others.

Which of these shifts does your organization need the most? What additional learning shifts would you add?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

“Yes, this is Bill. I’m a Vice President at First Big Bank. I need to know where our $77 million is.”

“Uh, yes,” I gulped. “Well… do you have an account number?” I was working in the investor reporting department of a major financial institution at my first job out of college. A large commercial property had paid off that week and the payment was split between two separate beneficiaries. As I had entered the $77 million wire into the electronic payment system, I was already preparing my braggadocio about the large amounts of cash I routinely handled in my job (even though this was a special circumstance and was only “electronic” money). But now it looked as though my day was about to be ruined. As I checked the account, my fears were confirmed.

“Um, I think I’m going to have to call you back…” I mustered. Epic. Fail.

What is it about mistakes? We go to great lengths to avoid even the appearance of them and then go to even greater lengths to hide them once they’ve happened. But what if we’re actually missing out on some of the best development there is? Let’s explore some of the benefits of making mistakes and see if we can come up with some alternatives.

Some of the Greatest Discoveries Were Born Out of Mistakes

The number of mistakes that led to eventual breakthroughs for inventors, engineers, researchers, and all kinds of people is nearly limitless. Thomas Edison conducted 9,000 failed experiments before inventing the light bulb. Eager to make an impression as a new publicly traded company, Ford Motor company lost a horrific amount of money on their Edsel automobile in the late 1950s. But from the mistake they were able to produce the Mustang, and later the Taurus. Walt Disney had to start his own business after his first cartoon series went bankrupt. He soon became a household name on his own. Whenever you try something new, there is always a chance of a breakthrough, even if it is not the breakthrough you intended to find.

Mistakes Are Some of the Best Learning Opportunities

Sometimes what we learn from failure actually benefits us more than the failure itself cost. We always ought to be able to learn something. Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, said that, “Anything worth doing is worth doing wrong… until we can learn to do it right.” As an aside, I like to add that if you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re missing out on some of the best stuff out there! (Tweet) It’s great when we can learn from the mistakes of others, but when it’s your own snafu, the lesson can last a lifetime. This doesn’t just include a great invention like the Chick-fil-A sandwich. It can include any business, communication, leadership – virtually any kind of lesson.

You Can Never Know It All Before You Start

Sometimes the fear of making a mistake is greater than the actual mistake itself. Some leaders are more apt to be risk-minded than opportunity-minded. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. There are times when waiting for more information can help you avoid devastating losses. The flip side is also true. Sometimes waiting just makes dealing with a problem even more costly. Whatever your partiality toward mistakes, there will be times that require you move past your comfort zone (either toward or away).

So how did I cash in on my $77 million mistake? Well, as it turned out, I did in fact wire the $77 million to the wrong bank and earned myself a couple awkward conversations. But it turned out to not be that big of a deal. I simply emailed a new set of wiring instructions to bank #2 and they solved the problem. And no money was actually in danger since both accounting departments would’ve stayed open until all the accounts balanced. Sure, it was a bit embarrassing, but also a turning point for me in my young career. I discovered that working with numbers didn’t really interest me (doesn’t take a genius to figure that!). Instead I needed to be working with people and creating change. That day marked a turning point in my career pursuits. And the added benefit is that now this whole illustration works much better for me in presentations than if I had never goofed up in the first place!

What’s the biggest, worst, most embarrassing professional mistake you’ve ever made?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or   follow him on Twitter.

If you follow college football at all, you might have been surprised when Kansas State University climbed to #1 in the BCS Poll at one point this football season. After a disappointing loss to Baylor, they’ll compete with Oregon in the Fiesta Bowl on January 3. When I was in high school, several of my teammates traveled to Manhattan, KS to partake in Bill Snyder’s summer football camp. They came back with raving reviews. My college team is actually the University of Kansas, but it’s impossible for me to ignore the powerful leadership foundation – and results – KSU head coach Bill Snyder has instilled in his program since 1989, when he took over the “worst NCAA Division 1 football program on planet Earth.” Whether or not you are a KSU fan, a football fan, or a fan of athletics at all, I believe there is something powerful each of us can take away from Snyder’s 16 Goals for Success. I’d like to share them with you.

Please don’t miss the most important lesson I take from Snyder’s 16 Goals for Success: that success starts with commitment and ends with responsibility (Tweet). And then there’s the inclusivity of leadership in goal #15 that EVERYONE can set an example.

You can read about Coach Snyder’s goals in his own words in his book They Said It Couldn’t Be Done. Here’s the list:

1. Commitment

2. Unselfishness

3. Unity

4. Improve

5. Be tough

6. Self-discipline

7. Great effort

8. Enthusiasm

9. Eliminate Mistakes

10. Never give up

11. Don’t accept losing

12. No self-limitations

13. Expect to win

14. Consistency

15. Leadership

16. Responsibility

For more information on Coach Bill Snyder’s 16 Goals for Success, visit the official website here.

What are your goals for success?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or   follow him on Twitter.