Giving great feedback isn’t easy. It’s tricky, it’s not much fun and to top it off, none of us were born knowing how to give great feedback. We have to learn how over time – often the hard way.

If you’ve struggled with giving feedback before, here are some tricks to get you pointed in the right direction quickly.

Identify Your Feedback Bias

When it comes to giving feedback, leaders tend to fall into two categories: they’re usually too quick (e.g. unprepared/knee jerk response) to give feedback or too slow (e.g. allowing too much time to pass, or never get around to it). In both cases, your lack of feedback effectiveness can make the situation worse instead of better. The first step is to identify which end of the spectrum you start from. Are you too proactive or too reactive? When you know your default setting, it’s easier to shift from there.

Avoid Common Feedback Pitfalls

Part of a leader’s job is to give appropriate feedback in appropriate ways to the right people at the right time. But there can be several pitfalls along the way. Here are some of the most common:

• Giving feedback in the heat of the moment when emotions are high – give yourself a cooling off period if you need one!
• Being unprepared when giving important feedback – decide what you want to accomplish before you begin.
• Declining to give necessary feedback due to fear, intimidation or procrastination.
• Not giving enough positive feedback – if you have the reputation for being a Negative Nancy, you’ll always be start feedback conversations at a deficit.

Ace Positive Feedback

Let’s be honest, it’s not impending positive feedback that keeps people up at night. But that said, the quality of your positive feedback will determine the responsiveness to your constructive feedback. Great positive feedback should be:

• Quick – to immediately reinforce the positive action.
• Often – to sustain motivation. (If you ever wonder whether you are giving enough positive feedback, you aren’t!)
• Specific – to make the action easy to replicate in the future.

Make Negative Feedback Constructive

Negative feedback is by far the most tricky type of feedback. Keep in mind that negative feedback shouldn’t be personal – it shouldn’t be about the person but about the behavior or action. To make negative feedback constructive:

• Create a “safe zone” – Let the other person know you’re here to share some input with them, not attack them. Make it easy for them to listen and overcome their initial defensiveness.
• Make it specific – Make it simple for the other person to understand how they can improve next time (and give them positive feedback when they do!).
• Tie it to something the other person wants – Show that by following the feedback, the other person is more likely to achieve something that is important to them.

Keep Growing!

One of my favorite books on feedback is Thanks for the Feedback by Douglas Stone an Sheila Heen. Crucial Accountability by the Vital Smarts authors is another. Both have too many helpful tips to share here. There are many other books, articles and resources as well. Bottom line: giving feedback won’t become easy overnight but more help is available.

As leaders, it’s our responsibility not only to give feedback, but to give great feedback. If you stumble, don’t give up. Keep trying. The better your feedback, the greater your influence.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader. Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or follow him on Twitter.

Let’s make it more personal with this sobering question: are the people you lead better or worse off because of you? What is the experience of each person on the other end of your leadership?

Since there are so many leadership responsibilities, let’s focus on just a few that have enormous implications for the people in our wake.

Your Decisions

We’ve probably all complained at one time or another that “management” makes arbitrary decisions and doesn’t understand the impact on the day-to-day work. But then one day we’re put in charge and have to figure it out. By definition, decision-making involves uncertainty and risk. Leaders are responsible for applying not only their insights and fact-based evidence – they must seek to understand the implications at the frontline – and especially at the point of customer interaction.

Your Feedback

Feedback is tricky business – especially when it’s negative. Many times we jump straight in and give abrasive feedback off the cuff or we feel intimidated and don’t give feedback that is truly necessary. Both approaches make a situation worse. It helps to remember there is a real, live person on the other end of our feedback. A curt, one-sided exchange may feel efficient in the moment but create more work and resistance in the long-run than taking the time to have a thoughtful interaction.

Your Commitment to Growth

What got you to where are now won’t get you to the next opportunity. Leaders either grow or they slow. The tricky part is that the more responsibilities a leader takes on, the less time they usually have available to sharpen the saw without being disciplined and intentional. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to chart your growth.

Your Transparency

Leaders tell the truth. Of course it’s not always appropriate to disclose 100% of the information to 100% of the stakeholders in 100% of the situations. But leaders go out of their way to tell their followers what they need to know without making them wait any longer than is necessary. It’s very hard to maintain credibility when followers think you’re hiding something. It’s nearly impossible to maintain credibility after your actions don’t match your words.

Your Vulnerability

In The Five Dysfunctions of Team, bestselling author Patrick Lencioni says that a leader demonstrating vulnerability is one of the best ways to build trust on a team. That means admitting where he messed up or needs help. It’s always difficult to say I’m sorry and no one wants to appear incompetent. But keep in mind, none of these revelations come as a surprise to the people on the other end of your leadership. Appropriate vulnerability builds credibility rather than erodes it.

Your Character

Ultimately, skill can make you leader but it’s character that will sustain you. Unfortunately, skills come much more easily than character. Think about it, would you rather have an employee who lacked skill or who lacked character? Your character is the sum total of the embodiment of your values. It’s not enough to have positive aspirations, character comes through both in the daily grind and the crucible.

Remember, everyone watches the leader. Being a leader is like interviewing for your dream job – every single day. Some days are better than others, but at the end of the day, each person on the other end of our leadership deserves our very best.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader. Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or follow him on Twitter.

That’s a question I frequently field from the executives and HR partners I support. I hope you’ve asked that question for yourself as well, because it means developing your team is high on your radar. I’ve shared the key skills of coaching as well as my favorite coaching conversational model GROW. That said, a new question arises, which is when should you coach and when shouldn’t you?

If you get this question wrong, you’re likely to either confuse your team or neglect to use your coaching skills to their maximum effectiveness. But if you get it right, you’ll grow as a coach and so will your employees.

Here are three situations when you should not coach and five situations when you should.

You should NOT coach when…

Explicit directions are necessary – Coaching is the art of helping the employee take ownership of a situation and rise to the occasion. It’s not appropriate when you need to step into “take charge” mode – such as an emergency situation.

Your employee is too new to benefit – When employees are new, their biggest need is often to learn the expectations and specific situations they are walking into. It’s much more efficient to share this information upfront and begin coaching a little further down the road.

You have important information to pass along – Employees aren’t mind-readers. If you are privy to information that will effect the outcome of an action they take, always share it upfront.

You SHOULD coach when…

Brainstorming – If your employee needs an idea, take a minute to brainstorm together. Resist solving the problem on your own.

Planning – If your employee will be leading a project or initiative, coach through the planning process. Start with their ideas first before giving yours.

Giving After-Action Feedback – As your employees perform in new ways, you’ll need to provide feedback on how they’re doing. Start with their own assessment of their performance – what went well and what they’d like to do better next time. Then augment with your own.

Decision-making – Help your employees think through how to make a tough decision rather than simply telling what to do – or even what you would do as your default response.

Development Planning – Unfortunately this area often falls off the radar for many leaders altogether. When they do commit to helping their employees develop, they often simply tell them what they need to work on. Instead, take the time to understand their career and development goals and ask for their development goals first.

Coaching your employees takes extra time… at the beginning. But keep it up and you’ll save the time back as your employees execute without your active involvement.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader. Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or follow him on Twitter.

The After Action Review (AAR) was originally developed by the U.S. Army to analyze and report on training exercises. Today the military uses a range of formalities (as do countless industries and organizations), but the essence is to capture two elements: what went well and what can be improved in the future.

Socrates uttered the immortal phrase, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Examining professional events may seem less dramatic, but it’s a critical component if you wish to improve. Also, keep in mind that an AAR shouldn’t substitute for a comprehensive program evaluation. (In fact, an AAR only partially measures to Level 1 on the Kirkpatrick Learning Evaluation Model.)

Here are several simple tips for performing high quality after action reviews.

Ask the Two Key Questions

What went well? What could be improved?

Your AAR needs to focus squarely on these two questions. The first captures the successes, breakthroughs and positive elements of the event. You aren’t looking for perfection, just positive performance. The second isn’t meant as an indictment, but should capture both the negative elements and possible alternatives for the future.

Ask in Advance

If you openly state you will be performing an AAR following the event, you prepare your audience to take mental (and hopefully actual) notes throughout the session. Sometimes this is appropriate for everyone involved, sometimes just for a subset (e.g. team leaders). Regardless, if you play a program leadership role, make every effort to create the expectation upfront.

Compile, Share, Archive

During an AAR, it’s crucial to compile all the feedback shared for possible follow-up. Share it with the appropriate parties – a report for the boss and action items for the process owners. Perhaps most importantly, save it in an archive where it can be easily accessed in the future. Ideally, you should consult a previous event’s AAR before you begin planning a new one.

Say Thank You

It’s hard to get good feedback – especially if you’re combative. Resist the urge to give unnecessary feedback on the feedback. You don’t need to argue or explain. If your team is evaluating the performance, it may make sense to go deeper, but with a large group, simply say thank you.

After action reviews might seem like extra work, but it’s critical work. Improvement is much harder without it.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or follow him on Twitter.

If someone on your team has fouled things up, why don’t you try some of these responses?

Begin with Praise

Sometimes when a mistake has been made, the offending person is more than aware and dreading the upcoming interaction. Other times, they are oblivious. In either case, the way you begin the conversation will more than likely set the tone for future performance. No matter how badly someone botches things up, there is usually a silver lining somewhere. Begin by catching the person doing something right. This demonstrates that you noticed and that you care. It also sets a positive tone for the rest of the conversation (and future ones).

Ask for the Other Person’s Assessment

One of the most practical ways to address a performance snafu is to ask for the other other person’s feedback before you give your own. There are a couple reasons. First, if you open by sharing your concerns, it puts the other person on the defensive right off the bat. Second, people are always much more likely to follow through on their own ideas than the ideas of others. Just be careful that you don’t ask for the other person’s feedback only when there are evident mistakes – it won’t take long to pick up on that pattern.

Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

This is Dale Carnegie‘s 8th principle for being a leader. Most mistakes don’t error in their entirety but in just a small piece. I recently worked with a golf coach who had me adjust my swing. When I hit a nasty slice, I expected him to confirm how ugly it looked. But instead, he’d tell me it was “almost perfect” and I just needed to make a little adjustment and try again. Making the fault seem easy to correct helps distinguish between a fatal and a fixable error.

Redirect the Energy

The attention of an error usually tends to be the negative outcome – and along with it negative energy. Unless you redirect the energy to something positive, the focus stays in the wrong place. Bring the focus back to the positive desired outcomes and tie it back to what is “in it” for the individual and for other stakeholders if the outcome is performed correctly.

Provide Constructive Feedback

Feedback that is un-constructive may be true, correct, factual, objective and warranted. Feedback that is constructive is useful for positive change. Help the person you are working with understand what they can do differently in the future (including the critical thinking components) to get the results you both want.

Give Second Chances

One of the best examples of a second chance was Thomas Edison’s invention of the light bulb. After laboring for 24 hours, his team finally created what they hoped to be the first functioning bulb. Edison handed it to a young boy to take it up the stairs of their building to test it. Unfortunately the boy dropped the bulb and it was ruined. Shrugging off the frustration, Edison’s team worked for another 24 hours and Edison entrusted the same boy with the same task. The rest is history.

When people make a mistake, there is a sense in which they are in our debt. A second chance may not erase the debt but it demonstrates trust and builds enormous amounts of loyalty. And motivation doesn’t get much higher than trying to prove that trust is well-placed.

Have you ever had a boss who responded like a leader when you made a mistake?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

In all of these cases, the difference between good feedback and poor feedback can easily be the difference between success and failure. The implications can affect our organization’s market share, our revenues, our project quality or our ability to be promoted.

Great feedback is crucial. But it’s not always easy to come by. So how do we get the feedback we need – either individually or corporately? Let’s take a closer look at seven feedback tips.

Ask For It

If you don’t ask for feedback, you’ll probably still get some. You just won’t get as much. And it will be lower quality and much less organized. The feedback experience will also be much poorer both for you and for the other party. On the other hand, when you ask for feedback, people are much more likely to give it to you – in the time frame and context you want it.

Demonstrate that You Acknowledged It Last Time

If you get feedback but ignore it, it’s much harder for people to take you seriously when you ask for it again. What’s in it for them? Their giving feedback will seem like an extra task that isn’t worth their time because you never completed the previous transaction by acknowledging the receipt.

Tell How It Will Be (or Has Been) Used

If people aren’t sure how you will use their feedback, they’ll be skeptical – and rightly so. No one wants their candor to be taken advantage of. Will their feedback be anonymous? Is there even a chance there will be any repercussions? Be upfront about this – as well as the positive changes that have been made with feedback that was provided previously.

Make it Easy for People to Give It

It is very unpleasant to provide feedback when it doesn’t appear to be wanted. This goes for feedback to individuals or organizations. When there is a poor system to collect the feedback (or no system), it communicates a lack of interest – regardless of the stated request. Make sure people know where and how to provide the feedback you are asking for. Use an easy, time-efficient system. The smoother the process, the more feedback you’ll receive.

Be Specific

If you make generic requests, you’ll get generic answers. The last thing you want is for people to tell you things were “fine.” It’s hard to take action on improving “fine.” So be specific in your requests. Give 1:5 or 1:10 feedback ranges. Provide feedback categories. Or ask different audiences to provide feedback on different areas. Ask what went well and what could be improved. But also ask for specific details on critical areas.

Use it

If you never use any of the feedback you get, eventually, you one will provide you with any more. Like lack of acknowledgement, lack of use means it’s not worth the time to give it. And if you don’t communicate that you will use the feedback you get (or how it was used in the past), it’s the same result. Don’t forget to show your feedback audience how their input will improve things.

Say Thank You

Remember, whenever people give you feedback, they are doing you a favor. You don’t have to use it. You can take it or leave it. But you should always say thank you regardless of the content – especially if you asked for it.

It’s difficult to get good feedback, but it’s a lot easier when you help yourself.

Which of these tips can you use this week?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

There a lots of options out there. The best strategy is to take a integrated approach to learning across five broad categories. Here they are.

On-the-Job Experience

The majority of employee learning comes from on-the-job experience. That is where the most time is spent. In fact, you could argue that until someone performs on the job, he or she hasn’t fully learned the job yet. This doesn’t mean that all time spent at a job is learning-oriented. If you (or one of your employees) have become fully competent, it’s probably time for a new challenge.

What are you learning in your current role?

Formal Learning

Formal learning comes from classes, courses, modules, company programs, learning events and more. Courses are typically taken in a classroom with an instructor, in an online learning system or self-paced. Organizational training departments usually spend the majority of their efforts creating these kinds of formal learning opportunities or bringing in outside vendors.

What formal learning programs are you utilizing?

Development Activities

Development activities are informal learning opportunities. They may be directed by an employee or by someone close to them, like a supervisor. These activities are essentially limitless, such as reading a book, attending a networking event or professional club, joining a cross-functional team or just learning something new. Adept organizations invest in a development library with a menu of options to select from depending on developmental goals.

What are your developmental goals?

Assessment Feedback

There are many, many assessments to help employees identify and diagnose their strengths and preferences. Personality assessments, like MBTI and DiSC are very popular, as is Gallup’s StrengthsFinder assessment. You might take a 360 degree assessment to get feedback from your team. There are assessments for learning styles, job fit, team fit, leadership, etc. You can also find effectiveness assessments from thought leaders and organizations (like these from Mark Miller). Most of us also receive a periodic performance assessment in the form of an annual review. Assessments tell us something we may not have considered and help direct our development goals.

What assessment feedback have you gotten recently?

Other People

Other people can often be the greatest source of learning. Supervisors, mentors, co-workers, network members, friends, family – virtually anyone can teach us something or give us valuable feedback, if we’ll let them.

Who have you learned from recently?

So, what’s your learning plan? And if you are a supervisor, how are you supporting your employee’s development needs? There are all kinds of options out there. Pick one and give it a shot!

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.