I was taking a wrestling class as a kid and that was the question the coach posed as he demonstrated a new move.

“You push him first. Then he’ll want to push back and you can use his momentum to your advantage.”

That may have been the first practical lesson I was given in the art of influence. People respond in kind. The actions we get are often reactions to our own actions. The question is: how do we begin?

Mark Miller wrote an ebook recently called Leaders Go First. In it he makes a promise: If you’ll set the example for your team, you’ll be on the path to more influence and impact. Why? Because people always watch the leader. They take their cues from us.

How do you relate with your followers? This could mean your direct reports, your customers, other stakeholders in the organization, your community, your family. What are you teaching them to do based on your behavior? If you trust them, they’ll trust you and each other. If you’re aggressive, you’ll teach them to either push themselves or push back. If you give them responsibility, you’ll teach them to take responsibility. At the end of the day, as people and as leaders, we all reap what we sow.

Dale Carnegie said to always smile, because people will be more likely to smile back. Zig Ziglar said to greet people enthusiastically, because that way you set a positive tone for the engagement. In both cases, you are more likely to build a strong connection, make a sale, make a friend or influence someone else in a positive way.

One of the very first books I ever read as a small child was Caps for Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina. Like many classic books, it’s a simple story with a timeless lesson. The way I remember it, a cap peddler goes on a journey but gets tired and decides to take a nap against a tree. When he wakes up, he finds that all his caps have been taken by a bunch of rambunctious monkeys sitting in the branches. At first the peddler asks for the hats back, but the monkeys decline. Next he pleads with them. Soon his temper gets the better of him and he puts on an animated display for the monkeys, who simply laugh at him and say “tss, tss, tss.” Finally, in one last show of frustration, the peddler takes off his own cap and hurls it onto the ground. Immediately all the monkeys follow suit. The caps all come raining down and the peddler collects them up and finally continues on his way.

I suppose there could be several different morals to the story. Always secure your caps if you take a nap outdoor. Always do a risk assessment before taking a business trip. Don’t try to reason with monkeys. Take your pick. But from a leadership standpoint, it’s a poignant reminder to lead with the behavior we want instead of waiting until it’s the last resort.

What behavior are you seeking from your followers?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

I saw a great post from Mark Miller last week on New Year’s resolutions for leaders – and it really challenged my thinking. I’m not sure what your leadership goals are for the new year, but if you haven’t thought about it, I’d suggest picking something from these ideas below.

1. Speak Up

Jack Welch made an observation in his book Winning that society and business generally seem to favor those who are energetic and extroverted above the rest. So where does that leave all the introverts (myself included)? Here’s a start: when you see something, say something. Whether it’s a safety concern, a new idea or simply providing your two cents’ worth, your voice will never be heard unless you take the opportunity to speak up.

2. Help Others Build Relationships

Nearly every organization struggles with poor communication, from top to bottom as well as sideways. One of the underlying factors I’ve found is that people simply don’t know each other. People who know each other are more likely to communicate and work well together. You may not be a social butterfly, but with a little initiative, you can still be a connector. Take a look at your network. Who do you know who needs to know someone else? What can you do to make an introduction?

3. Fight Off Pessimism

Pessimism – even under the guise of realism – will destroy your leadership influence. The reason is simple: no one wants to follow a pessimist. If you truly believe a project or initiative you are leading will fail, how can you expect anyone supporting you to believe differently? There is a direct relationship between expectations and results. Positive expectations get positive support which leads to positive results. Be an optimist.

4. Join a Cross-Functional Working Group

In any organization, there are generally three leadership opportunities: leading yourself, leading others and leading an organization. There is only so much room on the executive team, but a good way anyone can influence an entire organization is by joining a cross-functional working group. Instead of representing your function’s interests, you partner together to solve an organizational problem. And who knows, it could be great executive practice.

5. Smile

Dale Carnegie pointed out in How to Win Friends and Influence People that a smile is usually the first impression a person gives. In the business world, smiles lead to dollars because people prefer to do business with friendly people. A smile is the modern day game face. How’s yours?

6. Conduct an Experiment

Have you ever wanted to try something new, but felt you didn’t have the information you needed to know you would succeed? This over-reliance on research stymies people and organizations alike. Chip and Dan Heath propose an intuitive solution to this lack of action in their book Decisive. “Ooch.” Instead of waiting for all the data come in, conduct a small experiment to see if your idea can work. Why guess when you can know?

7. Learn Something New & Teach It to Others

Many organizations offer tuition assistance or provide a learning budget. Employees are sometimes required score a passing grade in the course to be eligible for reimbursement. But that’s usually where the expectation ends. The ROI on learning stays low unless people take the initiative to share what they’ve learned with others. If you engage in a development opportunity, host a lunch ‘n’ learn or ask for 15 minutes during your team meeting to spread the wealth of knowledge around.

7.5 Floss More

You haven’t gotten a lecture about flossing until you’ve gotten one from a high school buddy who is now a dentist. Maybe it’s not a leadership resolution per say, but my dentist friend told me recently that he always tells parents to floss in front of their kids because positive action examples are “more powerful than a million verbal reminders.” That’s a good leadership resolution for all of us: to set a positive example through our actions, whether flossing or anything else.

If you were to add another leadership resolution, what would it be?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

Now I was wide awake and ready to learn about Ancient Rome.

This story illustrates the effects drama can have on our words. Oftentimes, it’s not what we say, but how we say it that makes a difference. Here’s why:

A Picture Paints… a Lot of Words

When I was a graduate student, I frequently got the feedback that my PowerPoint presentations had great information but were terribly boring. My interpretation was that meant they were great presentations. When I graduate and joined a consulting firm, I quickly learned that boring presentations don’t make it in front of clients.

I don’t know if pictures are worth exactly 1,000 words, but I do know that busy people usually don’t prefer to read minute data points when a picture, graph or illustration can say the same thing.

We Live in the Days of Showmanship

Incidentally, “Dramatize Your Ideas” is Dale Carnegie‘s principle #11 for winning people to your way of thinking. Why is it so important? According to Carnegie, “we live in the days of showmanship.” It’s not enough to tell why your idea is best, you have to use flair. Think about the advertisements you see in print or on television. You don’t just see laundry detergent facts, you see dirty clothing transformed into spotless. You see the extreme inconvenience of losing cell phone coverage, how crash test dummies always manage to survive accidents in certain cars and that cheap American beer always leads to a big party.

When a man wants to propose to his lady, he doesn’t send her a text message. He gets down on a knee!

Whether you are selling a product or an idea, the experience in the delivery can often make or break the sale.

Drama Helps Your Audience “Find the Feeling”

In their book Switch, authors Dan and Chip Heath relay a story about an intern who thought his manufacturing employer could save $1 billion in over several years simply by controlling purchasing costs. Of course, he knew management would never embrace his ideas unless they believed them for themselves. So he decided to dramatize his ideas using one single item: work gloves. He collected a pair of every individual work gloves from every factory throughout the company and tagged it with the amount the company was paying for it. By the time he was finished, he had 424 different pairs of gloves from many different suppliers and at different negotiated costs. The intern piled all the gloves onto a conference room table and one by one invited all the division presidents to take a look.

When the presidents saw for themselves that some divisions were purchasing the same gloves at three times the price as other divisions, the intern’s point was made. We’ve got a real problem, the presidents thought and determined right away to address it.

Drama doesn’t change the facts. It personalizes them. Lack of drama can undermine your message, the way my boring presentation slides used to undermine my solutions.

So when you find yourself with a point you really need to make, think how you can infuse a little drama!

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

I learned the “Magic Formula” from Dale Carnegie. It involves three parts: an incident, an action and a benefit. Whether your presentation is two minutes long or an hour, the Magic Formula provides a reliable structure and clarifies the action we encourage the audience to take. Here’s how it works.

Incident

When we use the Magic Formula, it’s important to begin the presentation with specific evidence. Facts or statistics can be a good place to start, but an incident or personal example is usually the most powerful. In this post, for instance, I began with a brief story for the training session I facilitated. Resist the urge to give a detailed back story. This can be harder than it sounds. In order to get our story straight, we’re tempted to provide all kinds of information that is not quite necessary in order to set the stage. By this time, if the audience isn’t asleep, they’ve usually stopped caring by now! Begin in the present. “There I was…” After that, it’s fine to go back and provide relevant details and context. From there, make the necessary transition to the main points of your presentation.

Action

If you don’t necessarily want your audience to take a certain action as a result of your presentation, then the Magic Formula won’t be of much use. But if you do, make sure you identify the desired action clearly before you give your presentation and then deliver it at the end. As a rule of thumb, the shorter the action, the more likely your audience will recall it. It could be as simple as, “I encourage you to get enough sleep each night,” or “I challenge you to introduce yourself to new colleagues on their first day.” Be enthusiastic and confident. Don’t say you “think” they should do an action, or that you’d “like them to consider” the action. Simply encourage or challenge them and put the ball in their court.

Benefit

Once you’ve encouraged your audience to take a specific action, follow it up with the benefit to them. Base it off of your evidence or personal incident. Like the action, it should be short and sweet. Resist the urge to include every benefit you can think of. Share the most important one. For instance, if your action is “Use people’s names when you speak with them,” follow it up with a benefit, such as, “… and you will build stronger rapport with them.” Both the action and the benefit should take about five seconds each. Use them to close your presentation.

So, with all of that being said… I encourage you to use the Magic Formula in your presentations. You will influence your audience to follow through on your ideas.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

None if this would have happened if your organization simply had name tags.

What’s in a Name?

Dale Carnegie, author of the classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People, believed so strongly in the importance of knowing other people’s names that he devoted an entire chapter to the subject. “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” According to Carnegie, remembering and using a person’s name works magic with royalty and commoner alike since a name makes a person unique among all others. Not surprisingly, Carnegie’s 100 year-old capstone course still begins with a lengthy exercise devoted to helping people remember the names of others.

Herein Lies the Problem

Unfortunately, most people are not astute at remembering names, myself included. On my first day of college, I must have met over 200 new people. I have been terrible at remembering names ever since (even after taking the Carnegie course!). In fact, as I write, I recall the faces and personal facts of former classmates and colleagues and still struggle to place their names. If I run into them tomorrow, I’ll be in trouble!

The Benefits of Name Tags

So what difference do name tags make? They can’t force people to remember, can they? Let’s take a look at the benefits.

When people wear name tags, it’s easier to learn their names. No one needs to remember because the names stand right in the open. In fact, people are much more likely to remember them since they have a constant match between name and face.

When people know each other’s names, they are more likely to converse. It’s embarrassing when you can’t remember a name. It is much easier to break the barrier of unfamiliarity when a name is visible.

When people converse, they are more likely to collaborate and work together. It’s easy and enjoyable to work with someone you are already familiar with. Military members have their names sewn onto their uniforms. Is it any wonder “camaraderie” is one of the main retention factors?

When people collaborate and work together, they are more likely to become friends. When people collaborate, they share. They share information, interests, and ultimately, respect. And respect is often reciprocal.

When people become friends, they are more likely to be engaged, create safe work environments and solve the organization’s problems. It’s simple: people care about their friends’ safety. They may not stay late to help just anyone, but they will sacrifice for a friend.

If those benefits aren’t enough, Gallup author Tom Rath reported in his book Vital Friends that employees who share friendships at work are more likely to: engage customers, get more done in less time, have fun on the job, innovate and share new ideas, feel informed, know that their opinions count and have the opportunity to focus on their strengths each day. (Rath also authored the book StrengthsFinder 2.0). It all starts with knowing each other’s names.

But Aren’t There Other Ways?

Yes, there are plenty of other ways to get people to work together. From open work spaces to team building events, organizations go to great lengths to launch and measure new approaches. But name tags are cheap and simple because they immediately match a name with a face. Your organization should also have an online directory, but even that takes an extra degree of effort both to produce and use.

“But we already have security badges with our pictures on them,” some argue. Yes, everyone should have a security badge to get into the building, but not for the purpose of collaboration. Half the time they are flipped over. More importantly, people usually clip them to their belts, which means you’d have to focus on someone’s crotch area to decipher their name. Most people can intuit the negative results of that strategy.

So Where Do I Get Name Tags?

Here are three places to custom order a variety of nametags you can use for your entire organization:

• Nametag.com
• MyNameBadges.com
• NiceBadge.com
• Make your own!

So what are you waiting for?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

Take a moment to think of someone important to you (e.g. boss, spouse, customer, etc.).

What is one thing he or she wants that may not be particularly important to you?

View the rest of the Powerful Questions series by clicking here.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

I’ve posted about reading before. I’ve shared reading strategies, a comprehensive list of leadership books and inspirational quotes such as Charlie “Tremendous” Jones,’ “You’ll be the same person in a year as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” Unfortunately, not everyone enjoys reading as much as I do. So for now, let me use a more subtle approach and simply recommend five leadership books. Whether you read one or five this summer, I’m positive each one will help take your leadership to the next level.

1. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People is hands down my favorite leadership book of all-time. Most people have heard of it, but many have yet to read it. This summer is your chance. The chapters are short, entertaining and extremely insightful with Carnegie’s uncanny intuition about what turns people on and what turns people off. The book was published nearly 80 years ago and its truths are timeless.

2. Switch by Chip Heath & Dan Heath

I first read Switch this past winter after having it on my list for a couple years. (My reading list is pretty long). It’s an intellectually and emotionally stimulating case for leading change. Full of many engaging stories and studies, the Heath brothers show how change is often a battle between people’s rational and emotional sides. Instead of wearing ourselves out in a attempt to change people, we can use a variety of easier tactics to provide rational clarity, emotional motivation and influence the environment to make the change the easiest outcome.

3. Leadership and Self-Deception by Arbinger Institute

The story line in this leadership fable took me a little while to get into until I really started to catch the significance of the content. You have a problem. So do I. We don’t know what it is. THAT’S the problem. The authors from Arbinger Institute take an informative but in-depth look at the internal dynamics that unwittingly sabotage our relationships both at work and at home.

4. 12: The Elements of Great Managing by Rodd Wagner & James Harter

12 Elements takes a comprehensive approach to organizational leadership based on Gallup’s Q12 employee engagement survey and is the sequel to the Marcus Buckingham’s bestseller, First, Break all the Rules. Based on 12 million employee surveys, 12 Elements uses case studies of typical responses to show what effective leaders do.

5. Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer

If you’re only looking for a short read, Let Your Life Speak is barely 100 pages, but it’s powerfully intuitive. So be prepared to think as Parker Palmer explores from his own life’s journey the ups and downs of trying to discern one’s own vocational calling. Why do people do what they do? How can we find the thing we “can’t not” do? Palmer shows how to let your life speak – and then learn to listen.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his new ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website  or follow him on Twitter.

Last month I had the privilege to write a guest post on Eric Jacobson’s leadership blog. I shared the 9 principles Dale Carnegie taught on how to be a leader. (Dale Carnegie is author of the classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People). This was one of the most enjoyable posts I’ve ever written. Whether this is your first leadership role or you are a seasoned veteran, if you are experiencing a leadership challenge, I trust this post will truly come in handy.

View my post on How to Be a Leader – 9 Principles from Dale Carnegie here.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or   follow him on Twitter.

If you have any type of influence at all, I would like to encourage and challenge you to open yourself up to the ideas contained in this post and then to invest some time learning from Dale Carnegie’s resources. They are so potent I guarantee it will make a difference for you (just like it has for me), provided you will put the principles to use.

Who Was Dale Carnegie?

Dale Carnegie was an American writer, lecturer and training developer born into humble circumstances in 1888. It is hard to imagine a more accommodating individual than Carnegie, who in 1922 changed the spelling of his last name from “Carnegegy” so that he wouldn’t need to trouble correcting the people who frequently misspelled it. Carnegie pursued short and rather unsuccessful stints in both sales and acting before he convinced the director of the YMCA where he was living to let him teach a course on public speaking. Since the skill was necessary in people’s professional lives but there were limited training resources available, Carnegie’s training was wildly successful right from his opening night. Participants would try his principles during the week and report their astonishing successes back at the next class (if they could wait that long). Eventually Carnegie established the corporate training firm Dale Carnegie Training (which still operates today) and wrote several bestselling books, including the timeless classics How to Win Friends and Influence People and How To Stop Worrying and Start Living.

What Can We Learn From Dale Carnegie?

In both his books and his training, Dale Carnegie shared many principles on leadership, influence, human relations, and worry-free living. I’ve decided to share one principle from each topic included in his Golden Book (listed below in the resources section).

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People: Give honest and sincere appreciation (and 2 others)

Ways to Make People Like You: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests (and 5 others)

Win People to Your Way of Thinking: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.” (and 11 others)

Be a Leader: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement

Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry: Live in “day-tight” compartments (and 2 others)

Basic Techniques in Analyzing Worry: Get all the facts (and 3 others)

Break the Worry Habit Before it Breaks You: Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more (and 5 others)

Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring You Peace and Happiness: Count your blessings – not your troubles (and 6 others)

The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry: Pray

Don’t Worry About Criticism: Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment (and 2 others)

Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High: Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home (and 5 others)

Dale Carnegie Resources

PDF: Dale Carnegie’s Golden Book (start here!)

Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People

Book: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Training Firm: Dale Carnegie Training

Capstone Course: Effective Communications and Human Relations (the best training course I’ve ever taken)

What is your favorite Dale Carnegie principle?

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or   follow him on Twitter.

Right then and there I promised myself I would become a better public speaker.

Several years and many speeches later, I’ve had a blast (nearly) every time I’ve been in front of a crowd with something to say.  In fact, I’d like to sell you on joining me as a fellow public speaker by sharing six benefits of public speaking here below.

Your cause will be represented

If you take the initiative to speak, it means your ideas are the ones that will get listened to as opposed to the ones that are not being represented.  This will also make you more influential as an advocate.

It will boost your confidence

Overcoming anxiety of speaking in front of others is a huge accomplishment.  The fear of public speaking is reportedly higher than death for many people.  It’s difficult to doubt yourself when you know you can deliver speeches in public.  And believe it or not, the confidence flows over into other areas of life as well.

It will cause your ideas to stick

Hopefully your ideas will stick with your audience, but more importantly, they will stick with you.  Once you speak about a new idea, it’s amazing how you own it in a way you never did before.

You’ll get to “feel the power”

Are you a control freak?  Drama queen?  In either case, it can be a huge rush to see an audience hanging on your every word until you deliver your killer lines!

It will help build your leadership platform

When you speak, others will start to see you as an expert.  This makes them more likely to seek you out for input, follow you on your social networks, and perhaps invite – and pay – you to speak again.

You’ll have fun

All in all, public speaking is hard work, but it’s also a blast!  It can be a little scary at times, but there’s nothing like playing off the energy of an audience, experimenting with new techniques, and sharing great ideas that help others win.

So what should you do if you’d like to give public speaking a shot, but don’t know where to start?  Here’s what I did, and I guarantee each resource will make a remarkable difference for you, starting immediately:

Join a local Toastmasters club

You can search for a club on the Toastmasters website.  Depending on where you live, there could be as many as 100 clubs in your vicinity.  This is a great place to get experience in an extremely low pressure environment giving speeches that last an average of 5-7 minutes on literally any topic of your choosing.  The cost of club dues are usually very minimal, maybe $50 per six months.

Take a Dale Carnegie course

I also recommend the hundred year-old Effective Communications & Human Relations course.  Not only will you get to practice giving many short 2-4 minute speeches, you’ll also learn all the principles from my all-time favorite leadership book: Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People.  The cost of this course is usually in the $1,700 – 2,000 range, but well worth it, especially if you have access to company training funds.

Nathan Magnuson is a leadership consultant, coach, trainer and thought leader.  Receive his ebook Trusted Leadership Advisor by subscribing to his website or   follow him on Twitter.